transcripts
This commit is contained in:
445
objects/videohistory003_transcript.txt
Normal file
445
objects/videohistory003_transcript.txt
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,445 @@
|
|||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Montalvo: A test shot and some audio.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Can you say like something?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Carrington: Like…I mean
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Be like, “Hi, my name is Gary.”
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Hi, my name is Gary.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And where are you from?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Kansas City, Missouri. Born and raised.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Born and raised? Never left? Never went anywhere––
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Um well, I lived outside of Kansas City for about three years when I was in St. Louis for school.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
You know people talk about living, I've even talked about living
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and moving somewhere else, but I'm I mean this is my city.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I love Kansas City.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I don't think I would be happy living any place else.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I can go visit but, no.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
This is home.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I'm boisterous.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
It's very rare that I don't speak my mind.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I'm boldly, I've gotten
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
learned. how to be honest and transparent with people.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
That was something I had to learn.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I did learn that.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
But I'm very, I'm supportive.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Like I said, I'm honest, you know, I'm someone you
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
can if I say I'm gonna do something, then you can
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
best believe that it's gonna get done.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I always stand by my word
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Our gay community here in Kansas City, when
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I came out, it was surrounded by a whole lot of
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
con artists.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And what I mean by that, it was a whole lot of, oh, I can help
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
you, oh, I can teach you, I can show you, but it was all based around sexual things.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
So you had to be real leery
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and real conscious about who you spent your time with and who you were getting to know
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
During that time, that's when my
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
gay family really showed up for me.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
That's when they turned into my gay family.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Hey, don't worry about it.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
We got you.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And that's when I started
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
realizing and seeing the the workings
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
of people who were outcast by their own family, but that
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
found each other and came together and built a family.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And we've been those people stayed my
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
friends to this day, so yeah, that’d be my family.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Who are the specific people?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Well one, my gay mom, they called her Mother Gooch.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
She passed away.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
She passed away in 2013.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Then there was uh my gay dad, which was Carver,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and he I think he passed away in
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
2018, 2019.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
But they they were just together.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I mean, they didn't live together.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
They were just best friends.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And together as a group on a daily basis
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
they just showed me, well not just me, the group of people they
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
took in, like their kids, because Gooch was the type of person that
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I was the only person there.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
When I got to Gooch’s house, there were four other, you know,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
males that she had took in, having the same
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
situation and she just raised us as a family, like
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
she was like he was really our mother, you know, hey, rules and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
regulations, you know have to pay bills, you have to keep the house cleaned, stuff like that.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
This, I'm assuming, is the House of Carrington?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
or is it just a—
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
No.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
At the time that this was forming, right as I was going off to school is
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
when the, I won’t say the Ball[room] scene, but when the family thing
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
was real popular and going around.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
But when I got to the St.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Louis, we had never actually formed a family here.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
So when I got to St. Louis and started hanging around those people
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and that group of my St. Louis family, that's when,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
you know, one of my friends Sable, he was a female impersonator.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
He was Sable Carrington, just said, “you're going to be my son.”
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And he said, as of right now your last name is Carrington.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And when I came back to Kansas City,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
by then it already got around, “oh, Gary, Carrington, Gary Carrington, Gary Carrington.”
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And that's when I started the Carrington house here in Kansas City, that
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I was the very first one here in Kansas City, and that's when I started everybody else.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Okay, yeah,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
You’re the Godfather.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I love that.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
What was what was the scene like at that time, like were
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
you having fun, like going to the clubs and stuff, uh, were you having a good time?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I guess I was having a good time because, like I
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
said, they were teaching me a lot. and then in the gay family group, and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
that they're one of the things that were always teach us, it's not
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
where you go, it's the people you're with.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
So, of course, all the clubs back in those days were designed.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
They were not designed for us.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
You know, they didn't play any of our music.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
You know, of course they let us in, take our money, but it wasn't designed for us.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
So, as long as we stayed together with the people we
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
were with, of course, we had a good time because of the people I was with, not where was
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
not where I was at, it was the people I was with.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
But back in the day, the clubs were very much adamant, you can tell, they were not designed for us.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
That's still how it is today. [laughs]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
To this day! In 2025. To this day.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Because when Soakie's–
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Soakie's became such a hot item. Soakie's became that
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
little small space became such a major
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
foot in the gay community, but it was a foot in a Black gay community
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Back then pre-partying was, you know, the big thing.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
So let's go here, have a couple of drinks, and then by the
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
time we get we having a couple of drinks here, everything will be ready to go. where we where we used to party at.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
So we would go down to Soakie's and stay down there for about maybe a couple
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
of hours or so, and then it started catching on.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The more and more people started coming.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And then Tish, Jerry started talking to
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Soakie" [Salvatore A. Rinaldo] about doing things down there.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And that's when he found out he was like––
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
They said in order for them to get a 3 o'clock license,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
They had their food revenue had to go up. because
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I don't know what it was, but they said, you know, they had them sell so much food
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
in order to get approved for three o'clock license.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
So that was our goal.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
So we did that.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
We would tell people go down there for lunch. At night, we would go down there and buy sandwiches.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and we finally got the license.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And then that's when that took off and we started like remodeling and taking, making, changes.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
because the man was making money.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
He didn't have no problem.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
He was an Italian, he was making money.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Sounds like he was pretty accepting to you all.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
That he was.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Whatever we went and asked for him, whatever we went to him and said we
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
wanted to do or thought about doing, if it wasn't a problem, he didn't have any issue.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Like I said, we went in. He was this old Italian man.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
These are Black gay people coming into your establishment.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I mean, you serve lunch, you know, to people who are––
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
you know, working in The Mob or whatever, you because that place was packed during lunch.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
In Downtown, that was a place.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Businessmen down in your their their suits and making deals.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
They're sitting here eating hoagie sandwiches and drinking beer.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And now at night we want you to flip the script
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and turn it into...he was very open
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Hell, he remodeled the four times for us. He was very accepting.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Why do you think he was so willing
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
to change the the shop at night?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I believe it was Tisha [Taylor] and Jerry [Colston]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I believe whatever conversation they had––
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And Eric [Robinson]?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Yeah, yeah. I believe whatever conversation they had, they convinced him to trust them.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And they within him trusting them, you
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
know, they brought us on. "Hey Gary, I need you, you know, to be a, you
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
know, to work the door for me" as those things started forming.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
My little brother Danny, before he passed, "hey, Danny, I need you to be a bartender."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And I think
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
they showed him what they could do and he trusted
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
them and then he realized, hey, I can trust these people.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Then it got to the point that [Soakie] wouldn't even come in.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
You know, he would, Soakie was usually there seven days a week.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
It got to the point that he would show up on Fridays.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Fridays to write the checks and pay the bills for the liquor, and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
pay everybody payroll and he leave everything to Jerry and Tisha.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
What was it like, like, when Soakie's
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
shut down, how did that impact you and the community and stuff?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
When I got the call,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
When Tisha called and said "hey, you need to come down and clear
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
out all yourself out of the dressing room because, you know, they're not renewing our license, they're shutting this down."
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
This is right before they started out remodeling the Power & Light [District]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
H&R Block, but we knew it was coming.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
They were getting ready put us out of there because they were redoing Downtown.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
it was a a blow, because we had been there, we put, and I
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
do mean blood sweat and tears, we had painted walls, we had made floors.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
We had took out furniture.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
We had you know, hung doors.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Our dressing room was an old storage room and we had to go in and hang
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
light and clean out and gut and redo just
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
so we have a place for the dressing room. so it was it was kind of bittersweet.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
When we went down and we cleaned out the dressing room and took mementos.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I still have a bar stool from Soakie's in my house right now.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
[chuckles] I stole one of the bar stools.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
So and we took mementos, and so like I thought it was bittersweet and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
then it took us it took the community a minute to realize, okay, Soakie's not here anymore.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
It's done.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
What are we gonna do?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
If we can get one person to say, hey, I want to open a business here
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
in Kansas City and I want to be a Black gay bar, that bar is going to make money because it's a need.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
It
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
it's a need.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Because we' can go into any bar in the city any and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
they're all, you know, catering to the our other counterparts, we
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
can have a drink with whatever, but it's not gonna be for us.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
It's not designed for us.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
You know, it's not made for us.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
You'll take us in, but
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I believe that's what we need.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I just need one person to say, hey, I'm gonna open this bar.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And why is that so important?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Like, why was Soakie's so important?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Like, why are bars for us so important, or important to you?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Well, important to me because it was basically our seat at the table.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
It was our voice.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
You know, at that time back in that era, everybody, you know,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
first of all, gay wasn't as out it is now,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
wasn't looked up on as it is now, so accepted.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Back then, so it was our place.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
It was our place we could go and be us.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
We didn't have to put on any airs we didn't have to, you know, conduct
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
us, we didn't have to we could go and just be us, be open and free.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
See, at the other bars, we have to, you know,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
you know, the way we talk and joke and play with each other,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
you know, they think we're fighting, or they think there's a problem or
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
issue, or you know, I can tell that
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
the drink I just ordered is not the same drink that you––
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
You understand what I'm saying? The service [was different]. And I sense that. And I just got tired of faking it.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And I think that's what Soakie's was. Soakie's was our place.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Because a lot of people came to Soakie's, and they never even went inside the bar.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
They would come down park in the parking lot, pop their trunk, put
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
out their lawn chairs and their cooler and sit right there in the park because they were around their people.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
They felt home that they they felt at home, so that's where it was.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and that's the need here in this community that
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
we, as a Black gay community, we need a place where we can say, hey, this is ours.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
This is us.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
A place where we can walk into a bar and see, you know, pictures of
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
entertainers that went to win national titles, that does such-and-such, and we don't we don't have that here.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
We don't have any place that honors or
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
respects or mentions, you know, anybody in our Black gay community
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
because we have no voice.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
We have no place.
|
||||||
573
objects/videohistory004_transcript.txt
Normal file
573
objects/videohistory004_transcript.txt
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,573 @@
|
|||||||
|
---
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Starla: Got my good side?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Nasir: Yeah. [chuckles]
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
N: So to start…
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Can you just tell me what's your name?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
S: My name is Starla Carr.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
N: Starla Carr.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And where are you from?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
S: I'm originally from Cali,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
uh West side.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I'm originally from.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Los Angeles and now I live in Kansas.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
N: How long have you been living in Kansas?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
S: More years than I care to admit to
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
probably a good 30 years.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I have come to love Kansas, um
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
especially small town life and I never thought I'd be this person, but
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
the older I get, the peacefulness, the friendliness,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I just I can't see myself living in a big city ever again.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
but as a kid, it was extremely frustrating
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
because it was exciting being in Cali, even
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
though it was dangerous and violent at times.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Like it was exciting, you know, and I got I
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
had a really great childhood as far as like I got to do a lot of stuff
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I...
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
am frequency.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I'm a vibe.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I am I'm a lot of things.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
but it's hard to really quantify exactly
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
who I am because I'm still learning myself even now, at my big age. um
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
am very much about duality of a lot
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
of things because I'm an artist.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
So there is the masculine
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and feminine parts of me that
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
that duality that kind of bounce back and forth.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
There is the artist in me that is creative
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and and traumatized and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
that bounces back and forth.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I am
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
there's this new part
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
of me that is chronically ill, and so, and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
then there's a part of me that feels like I can do anything I want to do.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
So there's there's a lot of duality
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
within me, but if I had to sum it up in one little sentence,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I just am frequency.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I knew I liked girls way back in, like, at seven or eight.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I had a crush on a girl at church school.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And we were like best friends.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And so she was come over to my house spend the night.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I would go to her house and I just thought she was just the most beautiful thing.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Like, I when I look back on it, I realized that that was a crush
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and that wasn't that was the
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
beginning, but I've always just loved women
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
in a way that it's like, for me, is women are just everything, like,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
not just the beauty or the romantic side of it, but
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
just the way we navigate the world, how
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
strong we are, like women are just
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
everything.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
There was some conversation about Soakie's being
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
a gay bar, and of course that made my little spidey
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
sensors tingle cause I was like "ooo, gay bar" um and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
At this point, were you going to other gay bars?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I didn't know of any others. Yeah, I didn't know of any others.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I would eventually come to find out that there was a
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
couple of gay bars in Lawrence, Kansas and I
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
would also sneak there on my own and go a couple times.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
but I didn't know of any other place but what I
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
heard about Soakie's and um it
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
was a friend of one of the guys
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
that I was in [a former rap group] with that was like yeah,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
they have epic fights at Soakie's.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and I was like what?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And he was like yeah, everybody just hits in the parking lot, watch the fight.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And I was like, okay, and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
he and he was like I was like, let's go.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And he's like I'm not going to Soakie's,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
That's a gay bar.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I was like, we could just sit outside and we don't have to go inside.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and so we went and sat
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
outside for like a couple of hours and it
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
was, which we've come to unpack is 'Parkin' Lot Pimpin''
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
is what they call it, but we like the parking lot
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
that was in front of Soakie's was pretty big,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and we sat at the back we drove and parked our car
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
at the back of the parking lot and just sat and watched
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
people walking around in out the club wasn't any fights going on.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
It was just a normal night and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
we just sat there looking at people and talking like the
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
whole couple of hours, but then I was like okay I got to get inside.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I got to get inside there.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And um
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I had a friend at the time named Casey and Casey,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
young lesbian, uh has dated
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
somebody who was coming to Soakie's.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And so
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I think she was the first person that took me
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and and at this point I've been out for a few years.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I'm still trying to find my own as a
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
lesbian, like what does that mean to me?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and I've gone all the way from femme to masc
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and I think and I'm
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
super comfortable as the masculine version of me.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
plus I felt like which is weird to say, but
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I felt like dating was easier as a masculine lesbian.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
But anyway, we started coming to Soakie's.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and then I found out by coming that uh they had entertainment.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And I was like, okay, this is cool.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Uh, I'll never forget a shout out to
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
[Mama Mamie], and she's gonna love to hear this, but Mama
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Ma' was uh she used to sell
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
food outside the club and there was a lot
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
of times she was our door person for Soakie's and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
her smile was so well–
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
warm and welcoming like we would chat outside
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and, you know, about plates or whatever, and then there
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
was a store next door where they sold like sex supplies and what not.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and um she ended up working over there.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And so going in and out from bar to over
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
there, it was just like she became a familiar face to me and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
definitely a comfortable comfortable person to talk to
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and um very sweet, and uh we're still friends to this day.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And she ended up also being a show director
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
at a different club which I performed at but um we formed a friendship. um
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
um I started dating at the club, uh
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
came into a long-term relationship with someone who was
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
entertainer there and um yeah,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and then when I got with who was now my ex when
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I got with her, she was more established
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
as an entertainer theirs.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And as she was performing and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
whatnot, it's like we became the parents
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
of all of these younger uh gay
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
performers and entertainers.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And as you know, there's different houses.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
So she had her own house, the House of Beauty.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
The weird thing is, and this is just a very me thing because I'm very much
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I'm
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
very much the kind of person who gets along with everybody socially,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
but I've never fit in a clique.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I've never fit in a group.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
So I was never asked to be in any house, by the way.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
but because I
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
was with her, by proxy, I was in the
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
House of Beauty because I was her girlfriend, even though
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
she never even asked me to be in the house, but I was in the House of Beauty and so
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
as a parent figure,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I really love that role.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I to this day, I still have
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
gay family that call me 'unc' or call me 'pops'
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
or call me whatever, and I if it feels good,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
it feels really good that they look at me like that, and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
to be able to be that person you can come to for advice
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
or and that's what I became in
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
that role was almost a masculine fatherlike
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
figure to a lot of queer young people.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And I think just because of the
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
nature of my personality, which is I've always had kind of an old soul, um
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
people started calling me up for advice for
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
what to do or how to handle a situation or what was going on in their personal life.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And I very much clung to that role as
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
well as an entertainer, but
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
that was important to me and all of that happened at Soakie's.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Every person that I met came in contact
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
with had the honor privilege of performing
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
with or around, like all of those connections
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
came from going to Soakie's.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Soakie's was family. um
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
there there were so many people that
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I had hard conversations with in the club
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
uh that
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I needed to have conversations with people who understood me.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Um
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
There was dating.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
There was romance. um
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
there was it was just
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
everything I needed to be in this little hole in the wall clubs,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
like community um
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
we lost so many people and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
we'd lose somebody and then we show up that night at the bar.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and you could be sloppy drunk or you could be
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
crying or you could be upset.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
We always did benefit shows um when
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
someone passed and to try and raise money for the family, um
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
there... where else are you gonna do that?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
You know what I mean?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Like I had I've never seen that habit in my life uh
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
where someone's love one partner
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
spouse, whatever's passed away,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and then this community comes together just
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
to give them money or perform for them.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And that was unique to me. um
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
there was real
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
hard situations um
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
of couples that broke up.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Like the thing about it is, Soakie's on
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
the outside looking in, there was always this
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
perception of violence from people in the club.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
There was
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
a perception from the outside looking in that
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
oh, the queers are out there doing whatever,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
the drag fights and what not, but what they don't understand is
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
when you come up
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
without support, without help,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
without finance, you
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
end up in those kind of violent situations.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Like, I can talk about it maturely now as an adult,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
but every single fight I ever saw was
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
real shit like this was not
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
little light hearted things.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
This was I've been with this person for 13
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
years and were not together any more.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
in in the straight world
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
a divorce, but we didn't have words and language for that.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
It was a break up.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
It happened and everybody in the club knows that no longer
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
you with this person now you're with this person and now people are big in sides and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
yeah, it was violent.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
It was raw.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
It was real, but we it was still in an environment
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
where there was love.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
It's not going to look like anybody
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
else's version of love, but
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
you knew there was safety and love there, and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
yet there were fights, and yes, there
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
was drugs and there was everything else there just like the
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
real world, but we had family and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
even like I'll never forget this is a true story.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
There was a
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
a pageant that we had, and when we had the pageant
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
we would open up the garage area next to Soakie's so we had more room.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And there was a
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
group of straight guys, I'm assuming straight guys, I don't know, that came to the club.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and um one of my
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
gay kids uh was going back
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and forth between behind the stage and the dressing room.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
um, one of my best friends who
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
was the DJ from my group who
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
wasn't even gay, who was the DJ there that night.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
uh, I saw one
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
of my kids walking past this guy who
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
was headed back towards the back dressing room,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and one of my gay kids, their spouse,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
uh, was talking to some guy who
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
was trying to hit on her and I'm watching.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I'm sitting in the cut, and I'm watching.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and I see her actively like I
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
have somebody go away, and I see the aggression
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
level going up from this straight guy like you know,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"You aint gotta be with them"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and I see that my child, that's how
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I consider it, doesn't see what's coming, and
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I just started making my way over just in case.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
and the two
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
the couple went through the back way to
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
go back to the dressing room, did not see that this
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
guy was headed towards them.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Their backs were turned, and I stepped in between, and I was like that's not what you want right there.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I need you to turn around and head on back the other way.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"Well, who are you?"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And by the time he said that
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
*motions*
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
it was like Gary, it was the DJ.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
It was like
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
protection.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And they tossed him out.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
But that's what we did for each other.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And and it was
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
in the real world, you don't have that protection.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
If I'm walking down the street with my lover and we hold hands
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
or we kiss, Gary's not gonna pop out or
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
somebody else, you know, bouncers that I love and care about.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
They're not gonna pop out and just be like, hey, leave them alone.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
You know what I mean?
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
Like, so
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
it definitely was
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
something that I absolutely needed.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
And the friendships,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
um which have lasted well beyond the building,
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
um are still there.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
We're still there, so it was very deep.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
I don't I don't even think some some
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
day maybe I'll fully realize how deep it was because I'm still unpacking
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
uh a lot of the lessons that I learned there.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
But yeah.
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
....that was Soakie's.
|
||||||
Reference in New Issue
Block a user